Well, there are several children's books I love getting out at Christmastime. Since I love all things Madeline, of course I love Madeline's Christmas and we always use Bemelman's phrase "ice-cold-in-the-morning-feet." On Christmas Eve by Margaret Wise Brown--the story conveys such magic through the eyes of the children, and the illustrations by Nancy Edwards Calder are just beautiful. The language may feel a bit dated as it is a few decades old, but The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore has been around for about 187 years and I just love it. I like picking up various copies and seeing how the different illustrators have interpreted the scenes.
I am also a fan of The Christmas Conversation Piece by Bret Nicholaus and Paul Lowrie. It's got 300 simple (and clean!) questions designed to elicit the reader's thoughts, feelings, and recollections about Christmas. Leave it out on your coffee table. Pick it up and open to any page, choose a question. It's a fun thing to do with friends or family but also just for yourself in a quiet moment or two of personal reflection. An appropriate example: "You're writing a new Christmas classic. What would be the setting--time and place--for your holiday story?"
As for songs, my favorite Christmas songs are "Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" but only if sung by Judy Garland, no one else! It does make me cry though, more with each passing year. Movies? Miracle on 34th Street (the original with Maureen O'Hara), Elf, even the first Home Alone. I must watch Love Actually every year. I will watch It's a Wonderful Life, though I have such issues with it. Hence, I submit another Jimmy Stewart movie that takes place mostly at Christmastime but is definitely not the typical holiday fare: Bell, Book, and Candle--especially fun for members of the Write 6 who like to write about the supernatural.
Finally, when I think about Christmas books, I feel I have to include Louisa May Alcott's Little Women since the book opens with the sisters discussing Christmas plans and chapter two describes their actual Christmas. It just sticks in my head and gives a feel for the characters and the tone of the book, the time in which it took place. I need to re-read it. I think my blogmates would truly identify with Jo in a later chapter, vowing to never forgive Amy for throwing into the fire a book that Jo had been working on for years! I guess today Amy would have to erase Jo's hard drive.
A very happy and peaceful holiday to my fellow Peabodies and anyone else who reads us. I hope for reconnection in 2011--with my writing and with my wonderful critique group, but it's still looking like that's a little way off for me. Thanks for letting me have a few moments here to wax nostalgic in the midst of the craziness.
Showing posts with label Trager. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trager. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
progress?? ummmm...
What progress have I made in my writing over the summer? hahahahahahahahahaha
Honestly, the only thing I can say is that my novel characters haven’t died--they’re still in my head, sometimes whispering about subtle changes that might work or just repeating their story as I know it. As it is now Halloween season, I see things that remind me of my Ghoulsby family or my witch who was making the yet-to-be-better-named BooGoo. That I have read a couple blog entries by agents (almost always forwarded to me by my fellow Peabodies) or other authors is an accomplishment!
In terms of reading children’s books, my search has been quite specific. One of my twins shares a name with a beloved literary character who appears in a series of picture books, almost all of which I already own. I had to do a search for books whose title character has the name of my other twin. I was delighted to find a couple really nice picture books! I even found a borderline picture/next-level-up book for my preschool son in which the title character has his name. I don’t think it’s particularly well-written, but he likes it. In this day and age, you can easily find pre-written books where you personalize it so your child’s name is in the story. I like those, too, but it’s fun to find books that were written to be children’s lit rather than manufactured just to sell product.
I would also say that my immensely sleep-deprived imagination does get a bit of work out--when I think up all the responses I would love to actually say to people who make stupid comments or insist I enact their methods when they have never had twins themselves, let alone one with colic and one with eczema and possible milk allergy, both with a little reflux thrown in. (As much as I try to keep them on the same schedule as often as possible, people fail to realize that they are not a unit, they are two individual beings with their own personalities.) Or the dialogue I dream up when faced with a stroller brigade of annoying moms invading my neighborhood park. I got the worst vibe as they emerged from their mini-vans, set up their gear, and strode three abreast, practically in slow motion, down the sidewalk to the playground with their giant too-old-for-strollers single “babies.” Bad vibe confirmed when their older, preschool-kindergarten, progeny acted like shameless little jerks. The loud “leader” mom was worrying that whatever was going on with her was affecting Little Miss Precious Bossypants at school. She should have been worried about what kind of a socially incompetent brat she is unleashing on society (“Uncorrected personality traits that seem whimsical in a child could prove to be ugly in a fully grown adult”--Robyn Hitchcock.) And even though my son and I had an easily overheard conversation about how unfriendly these other mites were, the only thing any of those mothers said to me, with a look of disappointment when realizing that I would garner more attention from any passing strangers, was “oh. twins? you have your hands full.” In my head I replied quite elaborately. In reality my son had yelled “Some nice kids are here now,” so I wheeled the babes over to chat with the nice kids’ delightful mom, during which her daughter came over to inform us that “those kids are being mean to me!” So it wasn’t just me.
Back to “progress”--most of my writing has consisted of addressing birth announcements. And I STILL need to catch up on reading what my fellow Peabodies wrote over the summer. I don’t feel so bad though when I hear that they have been disappointed in the amount of product generated these recent months and that they, too, have had major life events with which to contend. Mostly I feel inspired by what they have done, though, envious of trips they have made and retreats attended, and grateful that I am still entrusted with reading their work! Cheers!
Honestly, the only thing I can say is that my novel characters haven’t died--they’re still in my head, sometimes whispering about subtle changes that might work or just repeating their story as I know it. As it is now Halloween season, I see things that remind me of my Ghoulsby family or my witch who was making the yet-to-be-better-named BooGoo. That I have read a couple blog entries by agents (almost always forwarded to me by my fellow Peabodies) or other authors is an accomplishment!
In terms of reading children’s books, my search has been quite specific. One of my twins shares a name with a beloved literary character who appears in a series of picture books, almost all of which I already own. I had to do a search for books whose title character has the name of my other twin. I was delighted to find a couple really nice picture books! I even found a borderline picture/next-level-up book for my preschool son in which the title character has his name. I don’t think it’s particularly well-written, but he likes it. In this day and age, you can easily find pre-written books where you personalize it so your child’s name is in the story. I like those, too, but it’s fun to find books that were written to be children’s lit rather than manufactured just to sell product.
I would also say that my immensely sleep-deprived imagination does get a bit of work out--when I think up all the responses I would love to actually say to people who make stupid comments or insist I enact their methods when they have never had twins themselves, let alone one with colic and one with eczema and possible milk allergy, both with a little reflux thrown in. (As much as I try to keep them on the same schedule as often as possible, people fail to realize that they are not a unit, they are two individual beings with their own personalities.) Or the dialogue I dream up when faced with a stroller brigade of annoying moms invading my neighborhood park. I got the worst vibe as they emerged from their mini-vans, set up their gear, and strode three abreast, practically in slow motion, down the sidewalk to the playground with their giant too-old-for-strollers single “babies.” Bad vibe confirmed when their older, preschool-kindergarten, progeny acted like shameless little jerks. The loud “leader” mom was worrying that whatever was going on with her was affecting Little Miss Precious Bossypants at school. She should have been worried about what kind of a socially incompetent brat she is unleashing on society (“Uncorrected personality traits that seem whimsical in a child could prove to be ugly in a fully grown adult”--Robyn Hitchcock.) And even though my son and I had an easily overheard conversation about how unfriendly these other mites were, the only thing any of those mothers said to me, with a look of disappointment when realizing that I would garner more attention from any passing strangers, was “oh. twins? you have your hands full.” In my head I replied quite elaborately. In reality my son had yelled “Some nice kids are here now,” so I wheeled the babes over to chat with the nice kids’ delightful mom, during which her daughter came over to inform us that “those kids are being mean to me!” So it wasn’t just me.
Back to “progress”--most of my writing has consisted of addressing birth announcements. And I STILL need to catch up on reading what my fellow Peabodies wrote over the summer. I don’t feel so bad though when I hear that they have been disappointed in the amount of product generated these recent months and that they, too, have had major life events with which to contend. Mostly I feel inspired by what they have done, though, envious of trips they have made and retreats attended, and grateful that I am still entrusted with reading their work! Cheers!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
writing..."long after the thrill of living is gone"
So "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp came up on my ipod when I put rock music on for my baby girls to fall asleep to (yeah, don't ask me why it works) this afternoon. And I was struck by the line about how "life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone." It made me think about being old, like in my eighties if I am indeed so lucky. I guess the "thrill" of living, the main "tasks" of my life will have been completed. Children will have long been grown and getting to middle age themselves, perhaps grandchildren close to adulthood. Of course I want to be close with them, but they will have their own lives, lives that aren't mine. And hopefully I will have had decades of redefining my life, possibly my marriage, after raising children. Hopefully I will have old friends in my life and continue to meet new friends and find satisfying activities. Then I thought about writing. How I really hope that writing is still a part of my life. If I never publish a thing, if I never share another piece of work with anyone, I hope that I will still write for myself. When I want to reminisce, I will look through all the snail-mail letters and holiday cards, any journals I have saved through the years. I had better have a treasure trove of life experiences to inspire the writing. But it doesn't have to be just looking back. I can create whole new worlds to live in, even if I am the only one who knows about them. It might be nice to be 85 or so, sitting at a desk in a quiet space by a window, knowing my kids and their kids are busy somewhere, not even thinking about me at that moment, and I ignore whatever post-laptop technology is the current tool of writers and simply set pen to paper. I write. And it is thrilling.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
crazed reflections
i was thinking of stephenie meyer, how she has talked about how she was able to write Twilight as a mother of three young children--basically staying up all night writing instead of sleeping. i have always been a more nocturnal person--it was not easy for me to work in a school system, arriving at work and functional by 7am, or to be in classes by 8am when i was a student. or really to exist in a world that operates 9-5. i would much rather stay up late and then sleep a few early morning hours as the sun is coming up. but to really have pretty much no sleep all night and then have to attend to others in those early morning hours?
at first i thought “scoff! the youngest could not have still been a baby.” as a mother of newborn twins (and a four-year-old), any moment that i am up when i should be sleeping is because two babies need to eat. they need to eat frequently, not always at the same time, and even more frequently when you are trying to work jaundice out of their systems. breastfeeding = no one else can do this.
then i thought “well, maybe the youngest was no longer an infant and the author was able to take that now indifference to sleep deprivation and figure that instead of learning to go back to sleep, she would write.” sadly, that makes sense to me. when you’re awake all the time, you realize what you could do with all that time. when i was in high school and college and not sleeping, i felt extremely productive. in recent years, i have realized the detrimental effects, at least on an older non-twenties body, of inadequate sleep.
and then i breastfed simultaneously a few times and either read things online or texted on my iphone with one hand while doing so. i came to the conclusion that it was just all about multi-tasking. but that requires a very precarious balance to be struck and for nothing to tip it out of whack, which of course it shall be tipped, so you’re just holding your breath till the topple.
so these are my admittedly senseless and non-coherent thoughts on the possibility of fitting writing in. how did i manage this rambling blogpost? magic.
at first i thought “scoff! the youngest could not have still been a baby.” as a mother of newborn twins (and a four-year-old), any moment that i am up when i should be sleeping is because two babies need to eat. they need to eat frequently, not always at the same time, and even more frequently when you are trying to work jaundice out of their systems. breastfeeding = no one else can do this.
then i thought “well, maybe the youngest was no longer an infant and the author was able to take that now indifference to sleep deprivation and figure that instead of learning to go back to sleep, she would write.” sadly, that makes sense to me. when you’re awake all the time, you realize what you could do with all that time. when i was in high school and college and not sleeping, i felt extremely productive. in recent years, i have realized the detrimental effects, at least on an older non-twenties body, of inadequate sleep.
and then i breastfed simultaneously a few times and either read things online or texted on my iphone with one hand while doing so. i came to the conclusion that it was just all about multi-tasking. but that requires a very precarious balance to be struck and for nothing to tip it out of whack, which of course it shall be tipped, so you’re just holding your breath till the topple.
so these are my admittedly senseless and non-coherent thoughts on the possibility of fitting writing in. how did i manage this rambling blogpost? magic.
Friday, May 21, 2010
More Uncool Over-Sharing
What keeps me from writing? I cannot even answer this right now because it would involve a lot of description of bodily effluvia and grossness and not in a cool vampire way. (speaking of vampires--i will have to change a main character's name in the story because we ended up giving it to one of our daughters!) So now i am trying to look at it as more experiences from which i can draw--not necessarily to incorporate these exact situations into my stories, but to have the emotions and thoughts available to my characters. And for now, my way of staying connected will be to follow my fellow Peabodies. I did like what everyone was saying about how you dream of many hours of free time to just sit down and write, but then procrastination visits and you realize you might function better when you have to force yourself to make time, that the events of everyday life might actually contribute to the creative energy rather than impede it. I know it will be a looooong time before i get in any kind of writing routine again, but I feel more optimistic that it will still be there, not lost, and maybe quietly percolating below the surface.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
small details, overall themes, and then way too close to home
What elements of our stories relate to specific things in our lives? I feel like I have probably touched on this in past posts. For picture books, it might be a whole story idea--like a story about a girl who moves, written specifically to fulfill a need for the students with whom I was working at the time. Or the kitchen band story, inspired by a music class I was attending with my son. Usually it tends to be not so much the overriding theme and more just a few details here and there that relate to real-life situations: a nickname of a character (Noodles) or a particular concept (Boogoo/Bourgoo brew).
I think my longer story has more instances, though just small details, that relate to “real” life. My main character’s sister works at a bookstore, as I did in high school. Their family has an Irish heritage (as do I) that becomes important to the story. This story has many supernatural elements, but there are strong themes of religious and spiritual struggle, adolescent girls finding their identities, how do we weigh what is good for one individual versus the universal good, what makes a person “good,” is it better to have someone love you as you are and accept you the way you are or to have someone who always believes you can be better? I continue to contemplate these ideas and I believe that many readers could identify with them. There may be very small details--things my characters might see or overhear in their environments--that are things I have seen (while out walking my dog, of course) or overheard in real life. Of course, for me, some of my characters’ musical tastes are definitely based on my own tastes and knowledge. And some of my characters’ traits have been inspired by songs I listened to.
There is one big part of this story that has become a struggle for me. When I started working on this years ago, this familial detail did not relate to my real life. Now it does. My main character has a twin sister. And now I am expecting twin girls. So, forgive the inelegant phrasing here, but I am a little “weirded out” and it does make me a bit hesitant to proceed. Hmmm...
I think my longer story has more instances, though just small details, that relate to “real” life. My main character’s sister works at a bookstore, as I did in high school. Their family has an Irish heritage (as do I) that becomes important to the story. This story has many supernatural elements, but there are strong themes of religious and spiritual struggle, adolescent girls finding their identities, how do we weigh what is good for one individual versus the universal good, what makes a person “good,” is it better to have someone love you as you are and accept you the way you are or to have someone who always believes you can be better? I continue to contemplate these ideas and I believe that many readers could identify with them. There may be very small details--things my characters might see or overhear in their environments--that are things I have seen (while out walking my dog, of course) or overheard in real life. Of course, for me, some of my characters’ musical tastes are definitely based on my own tastes and knowledge. And some of my characters’ traits have been inspired by songs I listened to.
There is one big part of this story that has become a struggle for me. When I started working on this years ago, this familial detail did not relate to my real life. Now it does. My main character has a twin sister. And now I am expecting twin girls. So, forgive the inelegant phrasing here, but I am a little “weirded out” and it does make me a bit hesitant to proceed. Hmmm...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I Can't Not
Why still write? The simplest answer is: because I can’t not. (That double negative was for you, Urania!)
It’s kind of funny how you might get involved in something in your life and some experiences stick with you, become part of you, while others fade away without much remorse. One of my examples is yoga. I never thought I would be a yoga person--I had always been into more concrete, competitive stuff like volleyball, interhall flag football, or taking a “real” workout class. The first yoga class I took was a yoga for fertility class. I think it may have saved my life or my sanity. That was only 6 weeks and then I moved into taking Vinyasa, yin/yang yoga, and experimenting with other kinds of workshops (gong bath anyone?) as well as therapeutic yoga (cannot recommend enough for people with chronic pains). I learned about breath as energy and how to control it to get your body to respond a certain way, a simple concept to which to easily return in daily life situations. I learned about meditation, chakras, and yoga of the mind. Plus there are ashtanga and forrest yoga if you really do want a hard workout! There was peace in learning to accept what your body can do at different times and in reconnecting mind to body. I know that even if I am away from an official yoga class for months at a time, its concepts have become a part of me and I will always find a way back to it.
An example to illustrate the “something that fades away” idea is crocheting, which I taught myself about 4 or 4 and 1/2 years ago, before parenthood. I think for Christmas that year I made something like 20 scarves and 16 hats for people, baby hats, and a stuffed pastel caterpillar for a baby. All different kinds of yarns, different kinds of stitches, different seams and finishes and embellishments (I crocheted different kinds of flowers to affix to hats and scarves). I frequented the fabric store, I even ordered yarn online. I was proud of how I could quickly work with smaller and smaller size hooks. It was fun and I took pictures of almost everything I made. My mother said I should sell stuff onine. Even the dog had his own homemade scarf. Then I just stopped. And I never picked it up again. I could not create one stitch now, not even the beginning chain row. I would truly have to teach myself all over again. While I think it would be possible and it might be a nice thing to do again someday, I really haven’t missed it, I really don’t care if I go back to it, and it didn’t become a part of me like the yoga did (and yes, my yoga teacher was one of the recipients of the hat/scarf sets). I still have bins of unused yarn in the basement.
The writing is much more like the yoga, except even stronger, because I did write for fun from a young age--elementary and junior high--but never really seriously considered it. After college I was away from creative writing for many many years, but, for whatever reason, it bubbled up from below the surface and burst into the forefront of my mind again. Once I started jotting scenes and background for a very long story, all sorts of ideas popped up. And then, as mentioned here before, when the Great Non-Backed-Up Hard Drive Crash of June 2008 happened and I lost almost everything I had written, I realized how I needed to re-create as much as I could or I would feel like part of me was missing. The writing was probably always a part of me, whereas I did not come to the crazy yoga concepts until my late 20s.
So to summarize, I guess when something becomes a part of you, you may walk away for a while but you can’t really escape it. Why continue to crochet? Myeh, maybe someday if I feel like it I will pick up the hook again. Or maybe I won’t. But why continue to write? I can’t not.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
which current project???
Wow! It has been so interesting to read my blogmates’ entries this week! All the frustration. I am afraid that is probably my overriding emotion as well.
How do I feel about my “current project?” My current project is trying to get the twins to the end of this pregnancy while caring for my four-year-old and living in absolute chaos since we just moved to a new house. I have been uncomfortable, exhausted, worried about 8 million things, and generally losing my mind every minute. “Oh, you’re on bedrest? What a perfect time to revise.” Except bedrest is an illusion when you have an older child. And when you were showing your house for buyers and renters 3-8 times a week and then when you were running around trying to find a new house that could close asap and then getting your child’s records transferred and registering him and trying to get him set up at his new preschool. And the time spent driving much further to get to all your doctor appointments (3 next monday alone) that are back near where you used to live but who is going to switch 32 weeks into it?
When I do have resting time, it is very difficult to have even 5 minutes uninterrupted to work on anything, with the following people in and out: the painter, the carpet installers, the hardwood installers, the radon guys, the mold guys, the direct tv guy, etc. on every level of the house. My son and the dog still need to be cared for (we don’t have any kind of nanny and husband still needs to go to work some days). And I would feel guilty using the computer to write for any length of time when i still haven’t ordered many things we need for these rapidly approaching babies or things for the new house. I can’t really read about the craft of writing or read books in my genres or for “fun” when I feel I need to read books about taking care of babies, getting twins on a sleep schedule, feeding them, or parenting preschoolers.
As far as actually writing, mixed emotions. The Write 6 keep me sane--reading the manuscripts they are working on and their emails and blogposts. But I do feel a sense of missing the meetings, not being able to attend the workshops/retreats they are planning, that they are all making much progress on their works and I am just stalled. The most I can do right now is maybe jot down any new ideas that come to me and explore those at a later date...and of course, make the effort to keep posting here on my day of the week!
How do I feel about my “current project?” My current project is trying to get the twins to the end of this pregnancy while caring for my four-year-old and living in absolute chaos since we just moved to a new house. I have been uncomfortable, exhausted, worried about 8 million things, and generally losing my mind every minute. “Oh, you’re on bedrest? What a perfect time to revise.” Except bedrest is an illusion when you have an older child. And when you were showing your house for buyers and renters 3-8 times a week and then when you were running around trying to find a new house that could close asap and then getting your child’s records transferred and registering him and trying to get him set up at his new preschool. And the time spent driving much further to get to all your doctor appointments (3 next monday alone) that are back near where you used to live but who is going to switch 32 weeks into it?
When I do have resting time, it is very difficult to have even 5 minutes uninterrupted to work on anything, with the following people in and out: the painter, the carpet installers, the hardwood installers, the radon guys, the mold guys, the direct tv guy, etc. on every level of the house. My son and the dog still need to be cared for (we don’t have any kind of nanny and husband still needs to go to work some days). And I would feel guilty using the computer to write for any length of time when i still haven’t ordered many things we need for these rapidly approaching babies or things for the new house. I can’t really read about the craft of writing or read books in my genres or for “fun” when I feel I need to read books about taking care of babies, getting twins on a sleep schedule, feeding them, or parenting preschoolers.
As far as actually writing, mixed emotions. The Write 6 keep me sane--reading the manuscripts they are working on and their emails and blogposts. But I do feel a sense of missing the meetings, not being able to attend the workshops/retreats they are planning, that they are all making much progress on their works and I am just stalled. The most I can do right now is maybe jot down any new ideas that come to me and explore those at a later date...and of course, make the effort to keep posting here on my day of the week!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
writing process (with or without caffeine)
I really like both Jim’s and Robin’s posts. I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts that the idea phase for me could be something funny my son said, something I heard in a song, a news story I read online, a whole scene that comes to me while walking the dog late at night. Most of the time I keep repeating it to myself over and over till I can dash to my computer and furiously type the idea. If it’s a scene of dialogue or paragraphs of backstory, I do allow myself to just type it all out without worrying about revising along the way, like Jim’s method. If I am going on a road trip of a few hours or more, I do keep a small notebook and pen with me in the passenger seat instead of dragging my laptop up there. And of course “you have a deadline for class, think of something quick!” can force ideas.
I would either write late at night when the house is quiet or follow the way of Robin to the local cafe (but if you’ve read my previous posts, you know that I may be distracted by conversations around me, which just spur more ideas!). Like Robin, I usually have several windows open--the document on which I am working, probably an online dictionary, possibly a rhyming dictionary, and some kind of research for whatever I am working on--the kitchen band picture book? I found lists of various instruments online. The Ghoulsbys? I had a list of “spooky” names I found online. While writing kitchen band, I also had my itunes open to listen to three or four songs that were about playing in the kitchen and made lots of sounds for me to try to find words to convey. I might have a window open so I can look on Amazon and see if there are similar books that have been written recently.
Even for picture books, I usually do some kind of outline first--if following the rule of three, what three obstacles or events is my main character going to face? Any funny phrases or words that I will be working in? With whom will my MC be interacting? What sentences or lines of verse will be repeated? What will be the ultimate resolution of the story? Even if I have those things sketched out, I very well might swerve into something else as I am writing.
Then there is the call to check email, of course. Then I edit and revise and move stuff around. Usually after I go home or wake up the next day, I open it up and find more things to tinker with. At some point, I have to say ok, leave as is and bring to group. Group has wonderful ideas for revision, except how to motivate me to actually do it. So I hang onto the comments they jotted down and their verbal feedback that I jotted down and know that at some point I will take a deep breath and pick one of the stories and hunker down. And hunker again and again and again until I end up submitting? Then if anything ever was picked up, oy, the number of revisions! And on a deadline, no less. In our group I think we all have felt comfortable bringing in really rough first versions of stories or chapters. Besides “writing is hard,” I have been known to say “please don’t be too hard, I just wrote this first draft last night.” (Writing is even harder when you are on a pregnancy-induced exile from caffeine.)
I would either write late at night when the house is quiet or follow the way of Robin to the local cafe (but if you’ve read my previous posts, you know that I may be distracted by conversations around me, which just spur more ideas!). Like Robin, I usually have several windows open--the document on which I am working, probably an online dictionary, possibly a rhyming dictionary, and some kind of research for whatever I am working on--the kitchen band picture book? I found lists of various instruments online. The Ghoulsbys? I had a list of “spooky” names I found online. While writing kitchen band, I also had my itunes open to listen to three or four songs that were about playing in the kitchen and made lots of sounds for me to try to find words to convey. I might have a window open so I can look on Amazon and see if there are similar books that have been written recently.
Even for picture books, I usually do some kind of outline first--if following the rule of three, what three obstacles or events is my main character going to face? Any funny phrases or words that I will be working in? With whom will my MC be interacting? What sentences or lines of verse will be repeated? What will be the ultimate resolution of the story? Even if I have those things sketched out, I very well might swerve into something else as I am writing.
Then there is the call to check email, of course. Then I edit and revise and move stuff around. Usually after I go home or wake up the next day, I open it up and find more things to tinker with. At some point, I have to say ok, leave as is and bring to group. Group has wonderful ideas for revision, except how to motivate me to actually do it. So I hang onto the comments they jotted down and their verbal feedback that I jotted down and know that at some point I will take a deep breath and pick one of the stories and hunker down. And hunker again and again and again until I end up submitting? Then if anything ever was picked up, oy, the number of revisions! And on a deadline, no less. In our group I think we all have felt comfortable bringing in really rough first versions of stories or chapters. Besides “writing is hard,” I have been known to say “please don’t be too hard, I just wrote this first draft last night.” (Writing is even harder when you are on a pregnancy-induced exile from caffeine.)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Evolution of a Critique Group
I think the way a critique group evolves is important. When we first started our group, it was as a course. We had a great instructor. Carmela always brought suggestions--what to read on the craft of writing, helpful blogs to follow, conferences and writers’ societies, other workshops that met regularly, writing exercises for us to try. She is so knowledgeable (as I guess is the job of a “teaching author”). I also liked that she had us bring in recent books in the same genre of what we were writing ourselves. We had to explain what we learned from these other books. This was helpful for me but also quite interesting to hear what my classmates were doing. Finally, Carmela’s format was designed to produce as little as anxiety as possible when presenting our work--first people would say what they liked about it, then ask questions about it.
When the next session of that class met, again under Carmela, it was five of us from the first class and one “new” person who put up with us and fit in right away. I think we kept the culture of respect that Carmela had established, but felt a little more free to argue with each other--one person might have liked something the presenter did while another person didn’t. It was really good to hear the discussion of your work (though difficult to sit there quietly as the presenter) and then get your manuscripts back with everyone’s comments. I was always impressed by the resources and information my classmates brought about seminars and goings-on in the writing world, so grateful that they shared these. It was really fun to be able to continue to read the works in progress or revisions from classmates, and with a smaller class, we had more opportunities to share work.
Now we meet on our own or even just email if someone needs some quick feedback before a deadline. People in your group are familiar with your work if you are hammering away on a continuous story or bringing in a revision. It’s people who genuinely respect the effort made and are truly trying to help each other achieve better stories. It’s very constructive, so I feel that we got lucky that we can trust what others have to say when they make suggestions or ask if you could try something a different way. Instead of this massive anxiety-producing event, it becomes much more an opportunity--looking forward to bringing something to the group because you really value the input as you struggle through it. Even if it’s a really rough first draft, to not be scared to ask “what do you guys think? is it worth pursuing? what direction would you like to see it take?” I have heard some horror stories about people in critique groups where the goal seems to be to show off your own knowledge of writing while being as critical as possible. I have also heard that these tend to be more adult writers’ groups than children’s writers? Like Ellen said, it helps to have a “deadline” of when the group is scheduled to meet so it pushes you to get some work done (although much less work done by me than everyone else lately!!). And it helps get you over your fear of sharing your work with others--perhaps a professional critique at a conference or even submitting for publication--maybe not family/friends quite yet. It gives you confidence that yes, you do actually have some business writing (who do you think you are? what’s so special about you?) and that you have already put a lot of work into it.
To echo Ellen again, it is like getting a little present to open when you receive another 2000 words and are asked to critique. I feel so honored that others would trust me to read their work and hope that my feedback is valuable. Critique groups are interesting, too, because the people in them are likely at different stages of life and may be writing in different genres, but somehow everyone has this “writing thing” in common and it all clicks. So if I did end up in some snooty snotty critique group situation, hopefully it wouldn’t paralyze me or crush my spirit because I have been fortunate enough to know that truly good experiences with critique are possible!! I admit that i do think there is some luck involved, so if at first it doesn’t work for you, try again and find one that evolves!
When the next session of that class met, again under Carmela, it was five of us from the first class and one “new” person who put up with us and fit in right away. I think we kept the culture of respect that Carmela had established, but felt a little more free to argue with each other--one person might have liked something the presenter did while another person didn’t. It was really good to hear the discussion of your work (though difficult to sit there quietly as the presenter) and then get your manuscripts back with everyone’s comments. I was always impressed by the resources and information my classmates brought about seminars and goings-on in the writing world, so grateful that they shared these. It was really fun to be able to continue to read the works in progress or revisions from classmates, and with a smaller class, we had more opportunities to share work.
Now we meet on our own or even just email if someone needs some quick feedback before a deadline. People in your group are familiar with your work if you are hammering away on a continuous story or bringing in a revision. It’s people who genuinely respect the effort made and are truly trying to help each other achieve better stories. It’s very constructive, so I feel that we got lucky that we can trust what others have to say when they make suggestions or ask if you could try something a different way. Instead of this massive anxiety-producing event, it becomes much more an opportunity--looking forward to bringing something to the group because you really value the input as you struggle through it. Even if it’s a really rough first draft, to not be scared to ask “what do you guys think? is it worth pursuing? what direction would you like to see it take?” I have heard some horror stories about people in critique groups where the goal seems to be to show off your own knowledge of writing while being as critical as possible. I have also heard that these tend to be more adult writers’ groups than children’s writers? Like Ellen said, it helps to have a “deadline” of when the group is scheduled to meet so it pushes you to get some work done (although much less work done by me than everyone else lately!!). And it helps get you over your fear of sharing your work with others--perhaps a professional critique at a conference or even submitting for publication--maybe not family/friends quite yet. It gives you confidence that yes, you do actually have some business writing (who do you think you are? what’s so special about you?) and that you have already put a lot of work into it.
To echo Ellen again, it is like getting a little present to open when you receive another 2000 words and are asked to critique. I feel so honored that others would trust me to read their work and hope that my feedback is valuable. Critique groups are interesting, too, because the people in them are likely at different stages of life and may be writing in different genres, but somehow everyone has this “writing thing” in common and it all clicks. So if I did end up in some snooty snotty critique group situation, hopefully it wouldn’t paralyze me or crush my spirit because I have been fortunate enough to know that truly good experiences with critique are possible!! I admit that i do think there is some luck involved, so if at first it doesn’t work for you, try again and find one that evolves!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
En-hear-ening characters
Envisioning my characters--is there an equivalent, like “en-hear-ening” them? I think I am at least as audio as visual. In imagining my characters in YA/adult, I have them quite physically defined in my mind, and I very often picture actors in my head or even people from works of art if I am actively writing that particular story. If I am just jotting down ideas or writing paragraphs of an outline for a story, I’m focused on theme and plot and have only the vaguest ideas about what characters look like. It would be unusual for an image of a person to come so clearly to me that I build a whole story around that image. For me, their personalities are stronger than appearance. I start out with my ideas of the personality and as I write or scenes come into my head, their personalities grow and choices they make change from what I had originally imagined. I am one of those people whose characters do speak to them--whole scenes of dialogue. So I have a good idea of what they would say, how they would say it, motivation, and how it propels the story forward.
Since I listen to a lot of music, many of my characters become characters in songs relevant to the story, or songs remind me of certain characters, which helps me be more specific in their personalities and motivations. Even if it’s never mentioned in the narrative, I would know what kinds of music they liked. That can be really fun if you have a creature who has lived longer than a normal human lifetime--tv and movies and internet have not always been around, books were not always widely available to everyone, but music has always been accessible and create-able.
News events also influence my characters--stories that come up, elections won and lost, medical advances, scientific discoveries--would these impact my characters? How would they feel about them? Sometimes a discovery is made about a historical event from centuries past--that may become something that one of my characters actually lived through. Last week, sadly, singer/songwriter/musician Alex Chilton suddenly passed away. My young protagonist would have no idea who that is, but perhaps her older (obviously cool) relative or her vampire friend who has been around “a while” would react to that.
Picture book characters are different for me. I picture animal characters more vividly than I do if the characters are people. I usually do not have strong visuals in my head of my child protagonists. My imagination focuses much more on their personalities, and I like them to be feisty! There is one story, about Mother’s Day and a little boy named Noodles, in which I couldn’t help picturing my own son as I was writing it. I think I was having a really difficult time coming up with something to write at that time, so thinking about him and that topic helped me persevere. But most of the time I am more inclined to picture the settings and action around my characters than their personal appearances. I have only vague images of what my vampire or witch families look like--whimsical, a couple people are only slightly foreboding--and more defined ideas about the drafty old cobwebb-y castle. When Marisol moves, the text is used to describe her new room, new house, new school, new playground. In my mind, the physical appearance of Marisol and her family members is quite fluid. If the stories were ever illustrated, it should be a pleasant surprise to me to see what the PB characters actually look like!
“Children by the million wait for Alex Chilton when he comes ‘round. They say ‘I’m in love. What’s that song?’”--the Replacements, off Pleased to Meet Me, 1987
Since I listen to a lot of music, many of my characters become characters in songs relevant to the story, or songs remind me of certain characters, which helps me be more specific in their personalities and motivations. Even if it’s never mentioned in the narrative, I would know what kinds of music they liked. That can be really fun if you have a creature who has lived longer than a normal human lifetime--tv and movies and internet have not always been around, books were not always widely available to everyone, but music has always been accessible and create-able.
News events also influence my characters--stories that come up, elections won and lost, medical advances, scientific discoveries--would these impact my characters? How would they feel about them? Sometimes a discovery is made about a historical event from centuries past--that may become something that one of my characters actually lived through. Last week, sadly, singer/songwriter/musician Alex Chilton suddenly passed away. My young protagonist would have no idea who that is, but perhaps her older (obviously cool) relative or her vampire friend who has been around “a while” would react to that.
Picture book characters are different for me. I picture animal characters more vividly than I do if the characters are people. I usually do not have strong visuals in my head of my child protagonists. My imagination focuses much more on their personalities, and I like them to be feisty! There is one story, about Mother’s Day and a little boy named Noodles, in which I couldn’t help picturing my own son as I was writing it. I think I was having a really difficult time coming up with something to write at that time, so thinking about him and that topic helped me persevere. But most of the time I am more inclined to picture the settings and action around my characters than their personal appearances. I have only vague images of what my vampire or witch families look like--whimsical, a couple people are only slightly foreboding--and more defined ideas about the drafty old cobwebb-y castle. When Marisol moves, the text is used to describe her new room, new house, new school, new playground. In my mind, the physical appearance of Marisol and her family members is quite fluid. If the stories were ever illustrated, it should be a pleasant surprise to me to see what the PB characters actually look like!
“Children by the million wait for Alex Chilton when he comes ‘round. They say ‘I’m in love. What’s that song?’”--the Replacements, off Pleased to Meet Me, 1987
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Quotes to contempate & inspire
Victor Hugo:
"It is from books that wise people derive consolation in the troubles of life."
"Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet."
"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."
"One is not idle because one is absorbed. There is both visible and invisible labor. To contemplate is to toil, to think is to do. The crossed arms work, the clasped hands act. The eyes upturned to Heaven are an act of creation."
Dorothy Parker:
"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
E. M. Forster:
"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars:
"I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me. Spanning years, continents. Lives ruined. Bloodshed. EPIC."
Ocsar Wilde, Portrait of Dorian Gray:
"Be warned in time, James, and remain, as I do, incomprehensible; to be great is to be misunderstood."
W. B. Yeats:
"Think where man's glory most begins and ends and say--my glory was that I had such friends."
Lester Bangs, Almost Famous:
"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."
The Simpsons:
“A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
(It’s a perfectly cromulant word.)”
And finally, to sum up:
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things." (Dorothy Parker again)
"It is from books that wise people derive consolation in the troubles of life."
"Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet."
"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."
"One is not idle because one is absorbed. There is both visible and invisible labor. To contemplate is to toil, to think is to do. The crossed arms work, the clasped hands act. The eyes upturned to Heaven are an act of creation."
Dorothy Parker:
"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
E. M. Forster:
"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars:
"I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me. Spanning years, continents. Lives ruined. Bloodshed. EPIC."
Ocsar Wilde, Portrait of Dorian Gray:
"Be warned in time, James, and remain, as I do, incomprehensible; to be great is to be misunderstood."
W. B. Yeats:
"Think where man's glory most begins and ends and say--my glory was that I had such friends."
Lester Bangs, Almost Famous:
"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."
The Simpsons:
“A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
(It’s a perfectly cromulant word.)”
And finally, to sum up:
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things." (Dorothy Parker again)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Imaginary Reader
Imaginary agents, never let you down, when all the others turn you away they’re around.
Imaginary readers never disagree, they always care, they’re always there when you need, satisfaction guaranteed.
Sorry, I was paraphrasing this really old song by Atlanta Rhythm Section that the phrase “imaginary reader” made me think of. The person for whom I imagine I am writing changes. If working on a picture book, I often imagine if my pre-school son would like it or if it is more problem-solution, I think of elementary students with whom I used to work, if it would be useful in some of their situations. If working on the YA (possibly adult) stuff, I have a vague imagining of an adolescent girl reading it, hoping that she would find the protagonist inspiring--to be independent and confident and not terrified of making a mistake, finding at least part of her identity before tying it to someone else. I purposely try not to imagine my adolescent self as the reader! Sometimes I do worry about friends or family reading it or parents of my son’s friends or former students because of language/violence/sexual content. Then I think how unrealistic that would be since I would never reach that broad an audience and I don’t ask friends or family to read anything I have written. whew.
It’s a big contrast from writing my grad school thesis, which I imagined just our professors and some classmates reading. When we next submitted for symposium I imagined the professors from other schools reading it. Then we won and were asked to submit for publication. I didn’t really imagine the journal editor reading it, just took her notes, and then did feel anxious about social workers, some of whom had participated in the study, across the state reading it. It was exciting that the participants would be able to see the results but a bit nerve-wracking opening ourselves up to questions regarding research methodology, statistical analysis, or the conclusions we drew.
If I write something I know I will bring to critique group, I only briefly consider my fellow writers reading it. That used to be scarier, but now I look forward to it because it’s so instructive and people want you to have good work. They bring different perspectives to the table--the funny part is when one person really likes how you did some specific part and another person wants you to change it completely. It’s really helpful when more than one person has the same reaction to a part of the story. Seminars and courses have taught me how to imagine editors and agents as the readers, and some editors and agents maintain blogs with great tips about what they look for. I think the writer takes that into account more when revising, not when writing the story originally, unless given a specific assignment from an editor.
More and more, I imagine myself as the reader. Sometimes my actual self just wants to throw it all out, but authors at workshops have suggested to never throw out anything you have written. Come back to it and maybe parts of it will work for you. So I try to imagine my future self reading something I wrote and deciding it wasn’t as awful as I initially thought, in fact, it might be something I could work with. Don’t censor yourself. I also ask myself if what I’m writing is something I would enjoy reading, if no one else ever saw it. Is it something I would go back to and read again or keep adding to? This question becomes important because I really don’t know if I do want to try to get my stuff published. (How Salinger of me, minus the previous literary credibility.) I do have that sense of once it’s out there, you can’t change it anymore. And then, of course, the imagined reader becomes real.
Imaginary readers never disagree, they always care, they’re always there when you need, satisfaction guaranteed.
Sorry, I was paraphrasing this really old song by Atlanta Rhythm Section that the phrase “imaginary reader” made me think of. The person for whom I imagine I am writing changes. If working on a picture book, I often imagine if my pre-school son would like it or if it is more problem-solution, I think of elementary students with whom I used to work, if it would be useful in some of their situations. If working on the YA (possibly adult) stuff, I have a vague imagining of an adolescent girl reading it, hoping that she would find the protagonist inspiring--to be independent and confident and not terrified of making a mistake, finding at least part of her identity before tying it to someone else. I purposely try not to imagine my adolescent self as the reader! Sometimes I do worry about friends or family reading it or parents of my son’s friends or former students because of language/violence/sexual content. Then I think how unrealistic that would be since I would never reach that broad an audience and I don’t ask friends or family to read anything I have written. whew.
It’s a big contrast from writing my grad school thesis, which I imagined just our professors and some classmates reading. When we next submitted for symposium I imagined the professors from other schools reading it. Then we won and were asked to submit for publication. I didn’t really imagine the journal editor reading it, just took her notes, and then did feel anxious about social workers, some of whom had participated in the study, across the state reading it. It was exciting that the participants would be able to see the results but a bit nerve-wracking opening ourselves up to questions regarding research methodology, statistical analysis, or the conclusions we drew.
If I write something I know I will bring to critique group, I only briefly consider my fellow writers reading it. That used to be scarier, but now I look forward to it because it’s so instructive and people want you to have good work. They bring different perspectives to the table--the funny part is when one person really likes how you did some specific part and another person wants you to change it completely. It’s really helpful when more than one person has the same reaction to a part of the story. Seminars and courses have taught me how to imagine editors and agents as the readers, and some editors and agents maintain blogs with great tips about what they look for. I think the writer takes that into account more when revising, not when writing the story originally, unless given a specific assignment from an editor.
More and more, I imagine myself as the reader. Sometimes my actual self just wants to throw it all out, but authors at workshops have suggested to never throw out anything you have written. Come back to it and maybe parts of it will work for you. So I try to imagine my future self reading something I wrote and deciding it wasn’t as awful as I initially thought, in fact, it might be something I could work with. Don’t censor yourself. I also ask myself if what I’m writing is something I would enjoy reading, if no one else ever saw it. Is it something I would go back to and read again or keep adding to? This question becomes important because I really don’t know if I do want to try to get my stuff published. (How Salinger of me, minus the previous literary credibility.) I do have that sense of once it’s out there, you can’t change it anymore. And then, of course, the imagined reader becomes real.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The Way We Read
If you’re writing your own stuff, I think it changes how you read others’ work both consciously and subconsciously. In novels I would deliberately be looking for how an author uses transitions, her choice of words, how the characters are given distinctive voices, use of dialogue. I think it’s very helpful to look at how an author shows instead of just tells--like showing a character’s emotions versus just telling the reader “he felt sad,” or showing how a couple falls in love versus just telling the reader that they have and expecting it to be accepted. I am also interested in how an author gets the reader to root for the characters. One thing I did appreciate about the Twilight books is how believable it would be (at least for the first couple books) that readers would strongly cheer for Edward and also strongly cheer for Jacob. Interestingly, I found it sort of difficult to ever really root for Bella, the alleged protagonist. Oh! And a great thing for me to look at in novels--the very first sentence and the very first paragraph. So important to hook the reader (or editor to whom you submitted) right away. I attended a workshop Ophelia Julien did on writing supernatural themes, and she did a great job of addressing the first sentence/first paragraph.
Harry Potter--there are just so many things I liked about the series as a reader (talk about a character for whom to cheer--where is my ‘I heart Snape’ shirt?) but reflecting on it from a writing standpoint causes me to marvel all the more. People were SO invested in Harry! People will never forget him. Quite an accomplishment for Jo Rowlings, especially considering how much the series changed as it went on. The first book was so enchanting, painting such a detailed picture of Hogwarts and the world of magic. The books got darker and darker as Harry got older. I really liked the fifth book, but I did feel like I actually missed Hogwarts because much of the action took place at the ministry of magic or the headquarters of the order of the phoenix. A more specific aspect that I noticed is that Harry is present in almost every scene throughout the series. The story is through Harry’s eyes. Yet there are instances where Harry is not present, but the author still wanted the reader to be privy to the action. I am thinking of a scene (I think in the sixth book) in which Snape has an important conversation with Narcissa and Bellatrix. How did the author present this so that it didn’t jolt the reader out of the story?
I had a fairly strong reaction when reading a recent popular book about temporal displacement and a spousal relationship. As a reader I felt like I didn’t quite believe in the characters’ motivations, I was bored by all the tedious detail spent on surroundings that ultimately lent nothing to the story, and I found the death scene, while emotional, to be quite confusing as to what actually happened. From a writing standpoint, I thought “this is an interesting idea that could have been much better, where was the editor?”
I read The Notebook a long time ago, before I started taking writing classes. A sappy book but people loved it. Upon reflection, I think it would be useful to see how the author went back and forth between the present timeline and the story of the past (the story the elderly husband was telling his wife about how they fell in love in their youth). I think readers were invested in both timelines, wanting to see what happened and wanting to see if love does conquer all.
The way I read has changed the most regarding picture books. I have taken the suggestion passed on by Carmela Martino to type out the text of a picture book and study it that way, without the pictures. This has helped me see how a story can be told in well under the word count limit, how they effectively use sound effects words and repetition, where to let the illustrations elaborate on the words. But even in just reading to my son, I can’t help but notice many more details in picture books than I previously did. Sometimes I am excited to discover a book I hadn’t known before (The Dark, Dark Night or Jez Alborough and his crazy duck or a simple book about a little boy picking up all his trucks in his room). Other times I am just appalled and can’t believe something that seems so sloppy got published. When you read a picture book, you think it just came out of the author the way it is, it’s so simple, so few words, but the good ones take a LOT of work!
Obviously, as part of a critique group, the point is to critically evaluate someone else’s work. What a pleasure to actually enjoy reading all the works brought to be critiqued! And although they are all written for children--they have been so varied: picture books and poems, novels written for middle grades, YA novels, holiday themes, historical themes, adventure, educational, and pure fantasy. While I strive to be helpful in my comments, I know that seeing the choices the authors make and the elements with which they struggle is beneficial to my own writing as well.
Harry Potter--there are just so many things I liked about the series as a reader (talk about a character for whom to cheer--where is my ‘I heart Snape’ shirt?) but reflecting on it from a writing standpoint causes me to marvel all the more. People were SO invested in Harry! People will never forget him. Quite an accomplishment for Jo Rowlings, especially considering how much the series changed as it went on. The first book was so enchanting, painting such a detailed picture of Hogwarts and the world of magic. The books got darker and darker as Harry got older. I really liked the fifth book, but I did feel like I actually missed Hogwarts because much of the action took place at the ministry of magic or the headquarters of the order of the phoenix. A more specific aspect that I noticed is that Harry is present in almost every scene throughout the series. The story is through Harry’s eyes. Yet there are instances where Harry is not present, but the author still wanted the reader to be privy to the action. I am thinking of a scene (I think in the sixth book) in which Snape has an important conversation with Narcissa and Bellatrix. How did the author present this so that it didn’t jolt the reader out of the story?
I had a fairly strong reaction when reading a recent popular book about temporal displacement and a spousal relationship. As a reader I felt like I didn’t quite believe in the characters’ motivations, I was bored by all the tedious detail spent on surroundings that ultimately lent nothing to the story, and I found the death scene, while emotional, to be quite confusing as to what actually happened. From a writing standpoint, I thought “this is an interesting idea that could have been much better, where was the editor?”
I read The Notebook a long time ago, before I started taking writing classes. A sappy book but people loved it. Upon reflection, I think it would be useful to see how the author went back and forth between the present timeline and the story of the past (the story the elderly husband was telling his wife about how they fell in love in their youth). I think readers were invested in both timelines, wanting to see what happened and wanting to see if love does conquer all.
The way I read has changed the most regarding picture books. I have taken the suggestion passed on by Carmela Martino to type out the text of a picture book and study it that way, without the pictures. This has helped me see how a story can be told in well under the word count limit, how they effectively use sound effects words and repetition, where to let the illustrations elaborate on the words. But even in just reading to my son, I can’t help but notice many more details in picture books than I previously did. Sometimes I am excited to discover a book I hadn’t known before (The Dark, Dark Night or Jez Alborough and his crazy duck or a simple book about a little boy picking up all his trucks in his room). Other times I am just appalled and can’t believe something that seems so sloppy got published. When you read a picture book, you think it just came out of the author the way it is, it’s so simple, so few words, but the good ones take a LOT of work!
Obviously, as part of a critique group, the point is to critically evaluate someone else’s work. What a pleasure to actually enjoy reading all the works brought to be critiqued! And although they are all written for children--they have been so varied: picture books and poems, novels written for middle grades, YA novels, holiday themes, historical themes, adventure, educational, and pure fantasy. While I strive to be helpful in my comments, I know that seeing the choices the authors make and the elements with which they struggle is beneficial to my own writing as well.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Books From Back in the Day
Apparently before I could truly read, my parents would allow me to fool my grandparents by “reading” some of my little books aloud to them. In actuality I had memorized every word and where each turn of the page occurred. I know I was read to as a child and eager to have that independence of doing it myself. The stories I remember from when I was very young are the Little Golden Books--I always felt bad for the Pokey Little Puppy. And, like Ellen, I had a book of fairytales for which I remember the colorful illustrations almost as well as the stories--Cinderella, The Shoemaker and the Elves, Sleeping Beauty, and Rumpelstiltskin. Rapunzel was in a different book, I think, and I was fascinated by that tale as well. It’s fun to re-visit some of these as an adult by reading something like Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. Dr. Seuss was always fun. (And fun in college when the first gift i gave my new boyfriend, now husband, was The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, since he was upset that I was going to a dance with someone else the night of his dorm’s Christmas party, to which he had forgotten to actually invite me.)
In elementary school, the poems of Shel Silverstein totally cracked me up. Then I read his book The Giving Tree as an adult and totally wept. I also read a lot of Beverly Cleary, The Beezus and Ramona books, and then many many Nancy Drew books--it takes about one second for my brain to pull up the images of titian hair, green sedans, “tomboy” George and “plump” Bess. I thought it was so cool when my older cousin gave me her ND books--they were old musty hardcovers with the black edging around the pages. The Secret in the Old Clock! The Hidden Staircase! And I remember everyone in my class loved the book Superfudge. Elementary school also had the book order forms every couple of months and trips to the local library’s book sales.
By junior high I wasn’t as much into following a whole series of books. I read some of the Anastasia books from Lois Lowry, maybe a couple of the scary Lois Duncans. I loved a book called The Girl with the Silver Eyes (a smart girl with super powers!) and I really liked What Katy Did. I remember some of the mandatory books for classes: My Side of the Mountain, Sounder, Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terabithia (how could the teacher make us cry like that?), even How to Eat Fried Worms.
In high school I was very affected by Elie Wiesel’s Night and adored The Count of Monte Cristo. Senior year brought the Canterbury Tales and Hamlet, and I chose The Catcher in the Rye for a term paper. (Salinger just passed away a couple weeks ago and there is still so much intrigue associated with him and that book.) By high school I was involved in so many activities and my classes were so demanding that I didn’t have much time to read for fun. I did work in a bookstore my senior year of high school, so I got the torture of browsing all the books I wished I had time to read. I do remember making time for the non-fiction book Friday Night Lights, however, and being obsessed with it, as my love of football in general was quite strong by then. (I liked the movie that was based on it, and I love the tv series that was inspired by it.)
Wow--it’s funny how much you can remember about the things you read as a kid, how they made you feel, and how you see that you have revisited some of them as an adult. It seems like the pure joy of reading was greatest in the early years, elementary, and junior high. Reading the Harry Potter books brought back that feeling. When they first started coming out, I was working as a school social worker, and my students from elementary through high school were reading the books, eagerly anticipating the next in the series. It was so much fun to share it with them and have an excuse to have HP items around my offices (it helps me better connect with the kids!). As a parent it is special to relive the classics with my son and discover all the new books out there. He absolutely loves “stories” and has memorized a couple short books that he reads to us. He is only a young four, and he expresses frustration that he can’t yet read by himself. I feel like his enjoyment of reading and eventual reading skills are more important than any academic area. Right now reading for him is associated with parent-child time, the joy of a book received as a gift, the independence of getting to choose his own books or use the computer for interactive books, and at preschool an opportunity to contribute answers or opinions since he loves to talk. Maybe someday he, too, will have the inspiration to write and will be much more successful than his mother at bringing ideas to fruition!
In elementary school, the poems of Shel Silverstein totally cracked me up. Then I read his book The Giving Tree as an adult and totally wept. I also read a lot of Beverly Cleary, The Beezus and Ramona books, and then many many Nancy Drew books--it takes about one second for my brain to pull up the images of titian hair, green sedans, “tomboy” George and “plump” Bess. I thought it was so cool when my older cousin gave me her ND books--they were old musty hardcovers with the black edging around the pages. The Secret in the Old Clock! The Hidden Staircase! And I remember everyone in my class loved the book Superfudge. Elementary school also had the book order forms every couple of months and trips to the local library’s book sales.
By junior high I wasn’t as much into following a whole series of books. I read some of the Anastasia books from Lois Lowry, maybe a couple of the scary Lois Duncans. I loved a book called The Girl with the Silver Eyes (a smart girl with super powers!) and I really liked What Katy Did. I remember some of the mandatory books for classes: My Side of the Mountain, Sounder, Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terabithia (how could the teacher make us cry like that?), even How to Eat Fried Worms.
In high school I was very affected by Elie Wiesel’s Night and adored The Count of Monte Cristo. Senior year brought the Canterbury Tales and Hamlet, and I chose The Catcher in the Rye for a term paper. (Salinger just passed away a couple weeks ago and there is still so much intrigue associated with him and that book.) By high school I was involved in so many activities and my classes were so demanding that I didn’t have much time to read for fun. I did work in a bookstore my senior year of high school, so I got the torture of browsing all the books I wished I had time to read. I do remember making time for the non-fiction book Friday Night Lights, however, and being obsessed with it, as my love of football in general was quite strong by then. (I liked the movie that was based on it, and I love the tv series that was inspired by it.)
Wow--it’s funny how much you can remember about the things you read as a kid, how they made you feel, and how you see that you have revisited some of them as an adult. It seems like the pure joy of reading was greatest in the early years, elementary, and junior high. Reading the Harry Potter books brought back that feeling. When they first started coming out, I was working as a school social worker, and my students from elementary through high school were reading the books, eagerly anticipating the next in the series. It was so much fun to share it with them and have an excuse to have HP items around my offices (it helps me better connect with the kids!). As a parent it is special to relive the classics with my son and discover all the new books out there. He absolutely loves “stories” and has memorized a couple short books that he reads to us. He is only a young four, and he expresses frustration that he can’t yet read by himself. I feel like his enjoyment of reading and eventual reading skills are more important than any academic area. Right now reading for him is associated with parent-child time, the joy of a book received as a gift, the independence of getting to choose his own books or use the computer for interactive books, and at preschool an opportunity to contribute answers or opinions since he loves to talk. Maybe someday he, too, will have the inspiration to write and will be much more successful than his mother at bringing ideas to fruition!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Stuck-ness and Un-sticking
For me, getting un-stuck for picture books is different than for longer stories. When starting a PB story, sometimes I have the idea of what I want to write about. I might do a quick outline--especially if my story is following the rule of threes--think ahead what the obstacles will be and how the character will move from one to the next, what the resolution will ultimately be. These can easily change as I do the actual writing, morph into things different from what I originally envisioned, or maybe I will decide to take the story in another direction entirely and rewrite what I had so far. Sometimes I don’t know what I want to write about, so I pull up my list of very many ideas. These could include verses of rhyme, characters’ names, or 2-3 paragraphs of a story. I might choose a couple ideas and start writing for each of them, see which one seems to flow better at that time. There have been times I started writing and decided it just wasn’t working, scrapped it, and started a whole new book. This happens more when writing for a class deadline. I also really like Eve Heidi Bine-Stock's three volumes of How to Write a Children's Picture Book, using specific examples from well-known children's books. Sometimes just reading a little about structure or being very deliberate in word choice and sentence construction can give some new spark to your words just lying on there on the page, making your eyes cross!
If I get stuck in a novel, I might take a break from the narrative and delve more into a character’s backstory--flesh out a bio or “CV” on that person: favorite foods, songs, movies, color, who was his first kiss, who was her hero, when is his birthday. Where have they lived in the past? What jobs have they held? What are their strengths, weaknesses, talents, goals, any special powers? Who are their best friends, enemies, co-workers, family members, past loves? Can they drive a stick shift? How do they normally dress? Do they wear braces, glasses, wigs, prosthetic devices? Religious affiliations? Political leanings? When is the last time they laughed or cried? Write a few pages of a journal the character might have kept. Many of those details wouldn’t make into the narrative, but this kind of exercise might spur some ideas about where to go or how a character would behave, what choices he would make, that in turn drive the story. It’s kind of like spending time with the character outside the constraints of the plot and emerging with a better understanding of her and, thus, the story.
One “trick” with which I have never had a problem but noticed some people do in regard to novel-writing--I don’t write in chronological order. When I am inspired to tell a certain part of the story or write a certain scene, I do it, even if it doesn’t come till much later, even if it wouldn’t be till the next book of a series. I am always surprised when another writer starts at the beginning and writes all the way through and never has considered writing out of sequence. One of my friends was doing a memoir-type work--he wasn’t looking forward to the part that would come next chronologically in his life. Ummm, so why write it right now? Move ahead to the part that you WANT to tell. Plus, let’s be honest, if there’s a part in your own memoir that you find boring or tedious to get through, why would you expect a reader to slug through it? Another big help: skip ahead and write the ending. I learned this in junior high when we had to choose a children’s author and write a letter to that person. How exciting when I received not just the usual form letter response but an actual personal note from Lois Lowry! Her advice when getting stuck was to skip ahead and write the ending. Know where you’re going and it will help guide you in how to get there. Sometimes it is tricky to then go back and put scenes in correct order and transition them appropriately.
One technique I have not yet tried but am keeping in mind is one of Carmela Martino’s suggestions: go back and write part of your story using a different point of view. For example, if your book is in first-person, try writing some of it in third-person limited. I’m not a huge fan of the writing in the Twilight series, but I was really intrigued by something the author did. The books are mostly told from the point of view of the female protagonist (except for part of a book from the werewolf friend’s point of view), but the author did write a draft of some of the first book from the point of view of the male vampire who becomes the protagonist’s boyfriend. She posted this draft online so that readers could have access to it. I read that the actor who portrayed this vampire in the movie actually used this draft to better get into his character’s motivations, which weren’t as apparent in reading just the published first book. I think this would be a very interesting exercise in getting unstuck--write from a different point of view of your main character or write the same events from the perspective of a different character entirely.
My main point of stuck-ness is in revision. I don’t know if it’s just not as exciting as writing something new, if I am worried the revised version will end up worse than the original, or the anxiety of making choices. I know I make choices in writing an original draft of a story, but it seems like the choices in revising are more deliberate, like you’re more accountable for WHY you made certain decisions. I should just approach it as a fun to chance to play around with stuff I have already created.
If I get stuck in a novel, I might take a break from the narrative and delve more into a character’s backstory--flesh out a bio or “CV” on that person: favorite foods, songs, movies, color, who was his first kiss, who was her hero, when is his birthday. Where have they lived in the past? What jobs have they held? What are their strengths, weaknesses, talents, goals, any special powers? Who are their best friends, enemies, co-workers, family members, past loves? Can they drive a stick shift? How do they normally dress? Do they wear braces, glasses, wigs, prosthetic devices? Religious affiliations? Political leanings? When is the last time they laughed or cried? Write a few pages of a journal the character might have kept. Many of those details wouldn’t make into the narrative, but this kind of exercise might spur some ideas about where to go or how a character would behave, what choices he would make, that in turn drive the story. It’s kind of like spending time with the character outside the constraints of the plot and emerging with a better understanding of her and, thus, the story.
One “trick” with which I have never had a problem but noticed some people do in regard to novel-writing--I don’t write in chronological order. When I am inspired to tell a certain part of the story or write a certain scene, I do it, even if it doesn’t come till much later, even if it wouldn’t be till the next book of a series. I am always surprised when another writer starts at the beginning and writes all the way through and never has considered writing out of sequence. One of my friends was doing a memoir-type work--he wasn’t looking forward to the part that would come next chronologically in his life. Ummm, so why write it right now? Move ahead to the part that you WANT to tell. Plus, let’s be honest, if there’s a part in your own memoir that you find boring or tedious to get through, why would you expect a reader to slug through it? Another big help: skip ahead and write the ending. I learned this in junior high when we had to choose a children’s author and write a letter to that person. How exciting when I received not just the usual form letter response but an actual personal note from Lois Lowry! Her advice when getting stuck was to skip ahead and write the ending. Know where you’re going and it will help guide you in how to get there. Sometimes it is tricky to then go back and put scenes in correct order and transition them appropriately.
One technique I have not yet tried but am keeping in mind is one of Carmela Martino’s suggestions: go back and write part of your story using a different point of view. For example, if your book is in first-person, try writing some of it in third-person limited. I’m not a huge fan of the writing in the Twilight series, but I was really intrigued by something the author did. The books are mostly told from the point of view of the female protagonist (except for part of a book from the werewolf friend’s point of view), but the author did write a draft of some of the first book from the point of view of the male vampire who becomes the protagonist’s boyfriend. She posted this draft online so that readers could have access to it. I read that the actor who portrayed this vampire in the movie actually used this draft to better get into his character’s motivations, which weren’t as apparent in reading just the published first book. I think this would be a very interesting exercise in getting unstuck--write from a different point of view of your main character or write the same events from the perspective of a different character entirely.
My main point of stuck-ness is in revision. I don’t know if it’s just not as exciting as writing something new, if I am worried the revised version will end up worse than the original, or the anxiety of making choices. I know I make choices in writing an original draft of a story, but it seems like the choices in revising are more deliberate, like you’re more accountable for WHY you made certain decisions. I should just approach it as a fun to chance to play around with stuff I have already created.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
How much research? How little time?
I don’t have much scintillating information to add to what my colleagues have already said on the topic of research. (And I apologize for the lateness of this post. Between doctor appointment and family night at son’s school, I was busy from 1pm till 8:30.) I do think picture books provide a wide range of topics to research. When I was writing a story about a kitchen band, I looked up a couple different sites that explained what kinds of instruments might be made from various kitchen items, and I also listened to a few children’s songs about playing in the kitchen so I could better convey what sounds those instruments would make. When writing a Halloween story, I actually looked up lists of spooky names. When writing a story about a girl who moved and changed schools, it helped to be familiar with the way many schools are laid out today and to visit playgrounds to see what modern equipment looks like instead of relying on my memory of what schools and playgrounds looked like back in the day when I attended elementary! I think it really helps to spend some time around children to get a good feel for the way they talk and the words they use. Even if your characters in a picture book are animals, you want the way they speak to be relatable to your audience. If you’re writing adolescent characters, you definitely want their dialogue and thoughts to be realistic.
If I’m writing about vampires, research might depend on for which age level I am writing. If it’s a beginning reader book, I might research how authors for young audiences have handled the issue of the vampires’ “diets.” If it’s a YA novel, I research some of the myths about vampires. Anytime you have a supernatural element, there are certain myths or rules that are commonly accepted, that the reader expects. If the author changes one of these (vampires can be out in the sunlight, vampires have heartbeats, etc.), there has to be a definite purpose and plausible explanation. If a vampire character has lived longer than a normal person’s lifetime, that’s a wonderful opportunity to choose which places and historical periods he or she has experienced and then research those times and places. For YA novels especially, it may be helpful to research how other writers have presented issues of violence, language, and physical intimacy.
Setting has to be one of the most fun things to research. If part of my story is taking place in Ireland or a character’s family has a strong Irish background, I research Irish surnames and first names, perhaps in which counties of Ireland they are prevalent, Celtic traditions and festivals. Of course I think the best research would be to actually travel there! I think traveling, even locally, is a fun way for writers to do research and feel connected to the world, not always holed up typing away. It can boost creativity. One woman I know was writing some animal characters but wanted their behaviors to be realistic, so she made an appointment to talk to staff at a local zoo where she could observe these animals. Brilliant!
As my fellow bloggers (Peabodies!) have mentioned, time must be spent researching the subject of writing itself. And as far as writing memoir-type stuff, it sounds silly, but you really do have to research yourself. Researching yourself is not a bad idea anyway, as I learned from Carmela Martino, in doing writing exercises to get ideas flowing. These two topics of research could easily evolve into their own blog entries at a later date!
If I’m writing about vampires, research might depend on for which age level I am writing. If it’s a beginning reader book, I might research how authors for young audiences have handled the issue of the vampires’ “diets.” If it’s a YA novel, I research some of the myths about vampires. Anytime you have a supernatural element, there are certain myths or rules that are commonly accepted, that the reader expects. If the author changes one of these (vampires can be out in the sunlight, vampires have heartbeats, etc.), there has to be a definite purpose and plausible explanation. If a vampire character has lived longer than a normal person’s lifetime, that’s a wonderful opportunity to choose which places and historical periods he or she has experienced and then research those times and places. For YA novels especially, it may be helpful to research how other writers have presented issues of violence, language, and physical intimacy.
Setting has to be one of the most fun things to research. If part of my story is taking place in Ireland or a character’s family has a strong Irish background, I research Irish surnames and first names, perhaps in which counties of Ireland they are prevalent, Celtic traditions and festivals. Of course I think the best research would be to actually travel there! I think traveling, even locally, is a fun way for writers to do research and feel connected to the world, not always holed up typing away. It can boost creativity. One woman I know was writing some animal characters but wanted their behaviors to be realistic, so she made an appointment to talk to staff at a local zoo where she could observe these animals. Brilliant!
As my fellow bloggers (Peabodies!) have mentioned, time must be spent researching the subject of writing itself. And as far as writing memoir-type stuff, it sounds silly, but you really do have to research yourself. Researching yourself is not a bad idea anyway, as I learned from Carmela Martino, in doing writing exercises to get ideas flowing. These two topics of research could easily evolve into their own blog entries at a later date!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Inspiration is flowing (revising is not!)
I think we’re supposed to be answering where we get inspiration for our current project? In my previous post, about the “when” and “how” of writing, I included a few sources of inspiration: walking at night with my dog, having seriously creepy and malicious neighbors, MUSIC--both for mood of characters and setting and also to help me with word count issues on picture books. I also mentioned that I wrote a book about a girl whose family moves, inspired by need in my school social work job. My work with children and families in the fields of child welfare, mental health, and education provided many ideas as to more issue-oriented stories, as have my own life experiences with infertility and adoption. I think about writing adoption stories that are helpful to parents as well as picture books for young children. Catholicism is chock-full of ideas with which the characters in my YA or adult novel will struggle. I definitely want to explore themes like how young women find their identities or let others define them, the nature of love, spirituality versus religion, what it means to be a “good” person.
It’s kind of surprising to me how once I got out of the technical grad-school writing mode and re-opened the creative part of my brain, I could find bits of inspiration everywhere. If I’m walking at night, the foggy silence (with “mistful” moon of course!) could lend itself to an entire scene playing out in my head. Or maybe I pass by something that could become a small piece of some future story--like this house on my usual route where different bird houses, chimes, and weather instruments hang from nearly every branch of the tree in the backyard. Perhaps a painting or photograph of a person or building catches my eye. Maybe I snap a picture myself if something strikes me--an eerily-lit tree or a path winding through the woods?
As mentioned in my previous post, perhaps parts of conversations I overhear will transform into complete characters or whole plotlines. I love words in general, and a funny turn of phrase or an interesting quote could conjure up new facets of characters already living in my brain. News stories that pop up online get filed away for potential later use (mystery of New England’s “dark day” in 1780 solved, European village where rent hasn’t changed since 1520, scholar claims to find lost Jewish capital of the Khazars). If I am writing for a class deadline, I might simply think about what holidays are approaching--Mother’s Day? Halloween? Out comes a picture book story. The most fun ideas come from my 4-year-old. I often jot down the funny things he says and think how I could build stories around them.
As far as my current project? That would be gestating twins and trying to move to a bigger house. Instead of jotting down a hundred ideas for “later,” I should really focus on trying to revise the drafts of things already completed. Since my doc is quite conservative, bedrest may end up being my inspiration...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
How and Where of Binge Writing
I must say that I, too, am a binge writer. If I can have many hours of uninterrupted writing, I take it. A lot of times it is necessitated by pending deadlines, but it is how I would prefer to write. I also greatly prefer to write late at night. I could easily start late at night and stay up writing till morning, then go to sleep...if there weren’t people who needed to be taken care of or jobs to get to. Since coffee shops (and their outlets and free wi-fi) in the suburbs aren’t open past 10pm, the late-night writing occurs at home, often sitting on the couch with the laptop when everyone else is asleep. I am so hoping that when we move to a bigger home, I can find a dedicated “writing space” that is mine only. I feel that a dedicated space would help me to also have more scheduled time for writing--an hour or two each day. It used to seem crazy, that you could “force” inspiration into a schedule, but that’s not the issue anymore. New ideas spring forth all the time and now there are pages and pages of ideas waiting for scheduled thought.
In the meantime, if it’s a weekend and I need to get everyone out of my head but my characters, I will escape with the laptop to the local library or one of the coffee shops. It can be difficult to tune out conversations of others, who are shockingly uninhibited about discussing in public whatever topics cross their minds, using whatever verbiage escapes their lips. So sometimes I give in. I open my “ideas” document and I start jotting down some of the things I am hearing, they way people phrase things, what the people look like, and what my own responses might be if I were a person at that table. I might even imagine where they live, work, go to school, what their relationships and families are like, what they do for fun, what their political and religious leanings are, what music and movies they like.
Often the best time for inspiration happens when I am out walking/running the dog. In the dark, of course. I even bought a digital voice recorder so that I could just say the thoughts aloud as they came to me. Sometimes it was scenes of dialogue, which would have been hilarious or possibly worrisome if anyone ever did happen to pass us in those late hours. However, if I were speaking into the recorder, that would interfere with listening to my music, which greatly spurred my thoughts. I would listen to playlists of songs that fit with the mood of a particular scene or theme of the story or songs with which my characters would identify. So I opted to just listen to the music, try and retain everything that popped into my head during the outing till I could get in the door, grab the laptop and furiously type. Since these outings with my dog, Shamrock, were so good for my writing health as well as my physical health, I shall make his picture famous here.
I guess the last thing I’ll say about the how of writing is that music really does help me. In addition to what I described above for longer stories, I do find it useful for picture books. When I was working on the ideas and sounds for a story about a kitchen band, I was listening to three or four songs from my son’s music class about playing in the kitchen and tricks with rhythm sticks, sometimes listening intently to the different sounds so I could find accurate words to convey them. In writing picture books, I often must confront the issue of word count. Publishers certainly do not want anything over 1000 words, usually nothing over 800 words, even better if less than 600 or 700 words. How to tell a story in fewer words? It does help to look at successfully published picture books, but it also helps me to listen to certain songs.
Sometimes it’s the imagery and mood conveyed by the lyrics: the sheer beauty described in Van Morrison’s “Sweet Thing,” the hopefulness of The Beatles’ “Dear Prudence,” the intensity of obsession in the scenes of The Pixies’ “Cactus,” the horror and dread of Jeff Buckley’s “Nightmares by the Sea,” the incredible sadness in the images of Elton John’s “Empty Garden” tribute to John Lennon. Other songs tell entire stories in far less than 600 words, with very specific phrases and images: Peter Gabriel’s “Solsbury Hill”, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues, “Message in a Bottle” by the Police, “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon, “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John. Heck, the Beatles describe entire lifetimes in songs like “In my Life” and “Ob-la-de, Ob-la-da.” Why can’t I whittle down my far less poignant picture book???
There are songs that simply have lines that would easily lend themselves to illustrations: “I was a willow last night in a dream, I bent down over a clear-running stream.”--Heart, “Crazy on You.”
“You walked in to the party, like you were walking onto a yacht. Your hat strategically dipped below one eye, your scarf it was apricot.” Not to mention the dreams that were clouds in Carly Simon’s coffee in “You’re So Vain.” And the songs that effectively use humor to describe the story: “And now you know that I suck at this, and you suck at it, too. And now we’re nothing more than vampires in love.”--Marvelous 3, “Vampires in Love.”
So if you see me in your local cafe with my earphones in, I may be concentrating on one of these songs for guidance. But I may be faking it and instead listening to your conversation next to me. Watch out, you may end up in my novel...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Uncool Over-Sharer
When did I truly give a rat’s hind-end about writing? I always played around with it as a kid and valued it as self-expression as I got older. Poems, as they must universally be, were born out of junior high angst, but I kept writing them through high school and college. I won both the short story and poetry divisions of my high school’s “literary” contest. Yet my contributions to my college fiction-writing class were nothing short of horrible dreck. I had better luck in Arthurian legend class when the assignment was to write our own additions to the lore. In grad school the writing was purely technical and resulted in an award/publication for a research project, but by that time, I had pretty much put all creative writing aside.
My “outlet” consisted of annually updating a list of contact info for friends from college and providing commentary with the newsy section of who moved, got married, had babies, finished grad school, changed jobs, etc. There were also some very dark years, going through infertility, and then the anxiety of the adoption journey, during which I recorded every mood swing, spiritual crisis, and philosophical notion. Eventually I hope to return to these and fashion some sort of books that will be helpful to others going through these experiences. Honesty will be painful.
I found actual stories again while working as a school social worker. I was running groups for new students and didn’t like the material available for the 2nd and 3rd graders. What could I do but quickly write my own story about a girl who moves to a new house and attends a new school? The kids liked it and related to things the main character did and felt. Strangely, instead of tossing it aside after it had served its purpose, I pulled it out later that night and played with it some more. Ideas started coming, and I started keeping track of them. Characters in a much much longer story, either YA or adult, started talking to me. They talked a lot. I finally started typing what they were saying--outlines for the whole epic plot, entire scenes of dialogue, possible names, topics I would have to research. 70-plus pages of such stuff. I became truly inspired by friends I’d had since high school who were musicians, artists, photographers, actors--some of whom even dared to have no “regular” jobs!
That’s when it happened. The great non-backed-up hard drive crash of June 2008. As much as you can grieve for a non-living thing, that's how much I grieved. The hard drive sustained damage of certain permanence. The music I could transfer back from my ipod, and thankfully most of the pictures I lost had also been stored “off-site.” But my writing? All those pages and pages of writing and ideas that had been backed-up only in my brain? Those were utterly and completely gone. I realized how much it hurt that they were gone, how much I cared about trying to write.
The rebuilt laptop sat, now next to the back-up drive and thumb drive, and silently taunted me for three months before I finally took a weekend and re-created everything out of my head as best I could. I even added more. During that time I had attended three or four children’s authors’ workshops. The next year I completed two critique courses and several beginning drafts, digested others’ ideas, and generated my own. It’s hard to hone in on WHAT I want to write sometimes--children’s books that are about issues they may be facing, children’s books that are just plain fun, YA or adult themes, horror (inspired by the people who live next door to me; spoiler: the villains will get their due), personal-memoir type books about specific experiences, nonfiction books about extraordinary things that happen in people’s lives. Soon it will also be hard to hone in on WHEN I will ever be able to write much--besides being the parent of a very active 4-year-old, I am expecting twins this spring. I fear the excitement of writing will be on hold indefinitely, but I hope life will provide even more inspiration in the meantime. Can I be the deux ex machina of my own life?
“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”--Almost Famous. My name is Trager. I am hopelessy uncool and, clearly, an over-sharer.
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