Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Perils of Performance

Right now my current project is in a very rough stage. I have so many holes to fill, emotion to tie in, and adventure yet to be written! The third story in my trilogy is perhaps the most challenging. I have come up with the plot and where I want to end up and I have added so much and am enriching the story but alas problems arise! Perhaps this is due to my lack of time at the moment or perhaps a lack of focus but I think I actually intimidated myself.

By intimidating myself I mean I am pressuring my brain to create the most epic, pulse-pounding, heartfelt book yet. So my hype is actually freaking me out. I want it to be so good that I find myself scrutinizing every chapter, sentence, and word. I look to my other two stories for confidence and wish I could recapture the magic or at least think I recaptured the magic to finish the first draft.

Alas the way I have written this story is vastly different from the others because the others I finished during long binges that never lasted more than seventeen hours. This time I could not binge write as much. I think the disjointed writing is throwing me off. I will return to the binge soon. I must.

I also know way more about writing this time around which in a way is good but also bad because I find myself being more cautious not to screw up when I shouldn't be. I can fix it very easily. I rarely find myself mulling over how to fix something so perhaps now because I have not plowed through it like a juggernaut my brain actively picks on my writing. I worry more now than before.

Lastly, writing a series of books that all connect causes pressure because you want to feel like you topped yourself and made it the best sequel you can otherwise what is the point?


  1. hmmm. well, your summer break will be coming up pretty soon--maybe that will give you some time and energy for your preferred style of writing. also, i think it is the feeling of trying to wrap up the trilogy and tie everything together. will there be an epilogue?

  2. Welcome to the world of 52 rewrites of your first chapter.

    Seriously, though, I second Ellen. Don't freak yourself out. Binge writing works for you. Find a way to get back to it.

  3. I think you'll get inspired at the retreat.

    There's something about conferences that's stimulating to a writers mind.